My personal tribute to Tapan Moha

More than a decade ago when I first released the atom bomb of marrying a girl from outside Assam, many in my family were not sure how to react. “Axomor suwali ajoni holay alop besi bhal asilay niki”, “Chandigoror suwali kanekuwa ba hoi” were some of the common concerns. Except for one person at the Khanapara Veterinary housing campus who had a totally different opinion in support of my decision to marry the girl from Chandigarh and it was non other than Tapan Moha. This, what makes him special, the ability to see the brighter side of life in any given situation.

Close to thirty years ago, I as a eleven years old was in Guwahati to attend a selection trails for the Assam state team  when I first saw Tapan Moha in the attire of  a groom at Lakhimi Tent house, Beltola. No, he was not that handsome kind of groom, whom girls will fall for at the first glance.  But I bet after knowing him every girl in this world would love to have a husband like Tapan Sarma and on that count Kalpana Mahi is probably the luckiest wife. 

Ask my family members about my behaviour and they will narrate numerous tales of my erratic and irritating nature. During one of our visit to our maternal uncle house in Sivasagar, I fought with my elder sister and uncle for a silly reason and ran away from home in the evening. First, no one found me where I was hiding and when they discovered me  near a culvert they could not convinced me to return back. But, finally it was Tapan Moha who would bring me back to home. I don’t remember what he said but certainly there was some positivity in his words which instantly cool down my anger.

     

We have grown up in a family where entire support system revolves around our mother. Father rarely participate in household work and hardly aware of our needs and demands. For us he is an outdoor person who bring breads & vegetables and give us money for haircut. This was my perception of a father’s till Tapan Moha became part of our family. Here, again he dared to be different, participating and helping the family in every household activities. I have seen him supporting Mahi whenever there was a need and equally spending time with his daughter Rasa like a friend. He will keep minutest  details about Rasa and helped her out in her every interest. In the Nineties it was rare to see a father so friendly yet so strong who can manage both office and home at ease. During my childhood I probably had a narrow perception about fathers which definitely had broaden after meeting Tapan Moha and the reason why I am able to connect better with my daughters today. Had I not met Moha, I would have missed out lot of priceless movement which children had to offer in abundance.

As I grew up, we occasionally met for few minutes whenever I visit Kalpana Mahi at Guwahati. We sometimes discuss state and national politics and he always had something new to add, a completely different perception. He would give the precise reason as to why the particular situation has had happened. Moha had a very sharp memory of the bygone days and would exactly recast a story what actually happened 40-50 years ago. At times, He used to narrate stories of some person who hardly had any importance as a public figure, but there would be something worthwhile and interesting to learn from that person.

Then, finally came Rasa’s marriage. The main man behind this marriage seems not to be the main man behind this marriage, that’s the way Tapan Moha manages things and that’s the way he lived his entire life. Managing everything from behind, quietly and silently taking care of minutest details and perform all these without making his presence felt. The relationship which he had developed over the years with his neighbours, friends and family was reflected on the day of the marriage, where it was difficult to differentiate between who was host and who was guest. The entire gathering seems to be like one big family. Making guest to feel like at home cannot happen overnight and cannot happen in every home, the host has to have a heart of gold.

Later, I met Tapan Moha at Delhi for few minutes while he and Mahi was returning back from Vaishnu Devi. Moha was looking healthy and discussed life with his same signature style, as he always used to. Little did I realized that his health would deteriorate so fast in two months.

More than thirty years later on 8^th January 2020, again I was in Guwahati for a sporting cause, this time not to attend selection trails for Assam but as a selector of Khelo India to identify young boys for representing India  in the future and I met Tapan Moha for the last time in his hospital bed. The clock probable turned a full circle for both me and Tapan Moha. He hold my hand tight, as if thanking me for coming to see him in the hospital, actually it should have been other way round. It is me who should have expressed gratitude to Moha, for showing me the path for becoming an ideal husband and an affectionate father. 

Finally, when  I came to know that Rasa performed the Mukhagani on 10^th January 2020 at Nabagraha, I was not sad, instead it gave me a different kind of satisfaction, I felt a sense of empowerment, courage and confidence in  Rasa, which I believe is the biggest  asset a father can leave behind for his daughter.

Rest in Peace Tapan Moha…….you will be remembered forever.